January
1
st
1
st
1
st
1
st
1
st
2
nd
3
rd
5
th
5
th
speechless - I'm speechless, but I can still make funny faces or I'm at a loss for words, I'm going to find something to smack you with
8
th
8
th
no shame in losing - there's no shame in losing, the shame is in trying in the first place.
9
th
10
th
11
th
11
th
14
th
15
th
17
th
20
th
brevity - brevity /is/ the soul
22
nd
crisis - I'm continually in a mid-life crisis, because you never know when it will end.
23
rd
23
rd
23
rd
26
th
reason - you were chosen to do this for a reason! although it may have been a... bad reason.
27
th
February
2
nd
3
rd
4
th
4
th
4
th
suspense - the suspense is throwing salt on my wounds, but not killing me yet
5
th
late nights - late nights make mornings difficult
7
th
8
th
9
th
9
th
10
th
10
th
10
th
11
th
12
th
12
th
13
th
listen - and then, for a moment, I heard myself listening, and it gave me further pause.
14
th
14
th
14
th
15
th
15
th
15
th
at cost - I'm not selling myself short, I sell myself at cost.
19
th
20
th
21
st
22
nd
25
th
26
th
26
th
27
th
27
th
27
th
28
th
28
th
March
2
nd
2
nd
4
th
5
th
6
th
full stop - some sentences end long before the full stop, I hope you get to the end of this one.
9
th
9
th
11
th
12
th
13
th
14
th
14
th
14
th
16
th
16
th
16
th
17
th
19
th
21
st
22
nd
25
th
27
th
28
th
28
th
31
st
31
st
April
1
st
1
st
2
nd
9
th
10
th
10
th
15
th
15
th
in a circle - in a circle, all ends are connected
17
th
24
th
25
th
25
th
26
th
28
th
May
15
th
15
th
16
th
what could be - it's like i just left 'what could have been' and haven't gotten to 'what could be'. it's like i'm in purgatory.
21
st
28
th
June
1
st
2
nd
2
nd
4
th
4
th
5
th
7
th
8
th
8
th
cycle - that's a vicious cycle, we should just buy a car
8
th
9
th
11
th
13
th
13
th
15
th
17
th
17
th
19
th
don’t mention it - i was trying not to, but you brought it up
20
th
21
st
21
st
22
nd
23
rd
26
th
29
th
July
2
nd
2
nd
6
th
6
th
7
th
282 - questions and answers confuse me, multiple choice is abuse.
8
th
9
th
12
th
13
th
13
th
16
th
16
th
289 - repetition is annoying. i think i've already stated that.
16
th
17
th
17
th
18
th
19
th
19
th
19
th
20
th
27
th
28
th
28
th
28
th
31
st
August
1
st
argument - every time i get into an argument, i prove that an idiot is being argued with.
4
th
4
th
sink and dishes - if you always go for the kitchen sink, you’ll find yourself stuck doing dishes…
4
th
4
th
4
th
4
th
something sweet - and what of those who steal fruit? just to taste something sweet…
7
th
7
th
8
th
696 - when i grow up, i want to be younger.
8
th
699 - for all intensive purposes i spelled out my intents and purposes.
10
th
10
th
11
th
711 - you have questionable friends with questionable taste, which is probably why they're your friends.
11
th
13
th
717 - i'm not nearly as good or as important to feel insecure.
14
th
719 - beware of him! he speaks in tongues and writes in pens.
15
th
734 - for a while there i was under the impression that "lack thereof" was what my "sense of style and fashion" was called.
16
th
735 - welcoming you back is tiring, stop thanking me.
17
th
737 - i wish objects in that mirror were closer than they appear to be.
18
th
738 - make it cut-and-dry, more cut and less dry.
19
th
19
th
741 - i don't really follow advice, i just like listening to it.
20
th
742 - and before you know it, you will have climbed the mountain you were trying to move.
20
th
20
th
748 - what i like about it most is pointing out what i don't like about it most.
20
th
21
st
753 - i'm funny beyond compare, unless you compare me to someone who's just as funny as i am, or someone who's funnier.
21
st
755 - i like to start each day by waking up.
22
nd
22
nd
759 - it's always one o'clock around this time of the day.
22
nd
760 - i choose quality over quality, and quantity over quantity... but never one over the other.
23
rd
761 - two's company, three's a corporation.
23
rd
24
th
24
th
24
th
27
th
777 - it is surprising, if you are listening, with how much clarity it can be done.
27
th
778 - if i put my mind to it, there's nothing i could accomplish.
27
th
28
th
29
th
31
st
September
30
th
October
1
st
798 - i feel like my insult is being intelligenced.
2
nd
3
rd
4
th
896 - it's not that there are no wrong answers, there simply aren't any right ones.
4
th
4
th
5
th
5
th
904 - thank you for your input, you have confirmed what i had already known, that i do not value your opinion.
5
th
6
th
875 - lies become half-truths if you get enough people to say them.
9
th
10
th
11
th
932 - less is actually really less, but there are some who interpret it as being somewhat more than it actually really is. in short, less is more... more or less...
12
th
13
th
14
th
16
th
948 - i think i've been told i'm an awful listener.
17
th
954 - good jokes need no explanation, great jokes do (and so do horrible jokes).
19
th
21
st
23
rd
25
th
25
th
28
th
28
th
30
th
1003 - a photo essay is a really big giant photo, spanning multiple pages, double spaced.
31
st
November
1
st
1
st
5
th
6
th
1037 - the glass is fully empty.
14
th
15
th
1040 - the moment was full of awe, not to be confused with: an awful moment.
17
th
970 - I think night school is a brilliant concept, if you have nothing to do during the day.
17
th
18
th
19
th
20
th
1061 - revenge is a dish best served cold, cut into thin bland slices, with heated ketchup.
21
st
22
nd
24
th
1107 - if you had nothing, what would you need?
24
th
27
th
1113 - oh no, I have people skills. I just don't like using them.
28
th
29
th
30
th
December
2
nd
4
th
5
th
5
th
7
th
7
th
9
th
11
th
1128 - apparently I keep losing ironies.
11
th
12
th
14
th
1130 - "I don't even know the difference between an adjective and an adverb", I said, in a shy, unknowingly tone.
14
th
1221 - a metaphor is like a simile.
14
th
15
th
19
th
21
st
21
st
22
nd
22
nd
22
nd
22
nd
25
th
31
st