January
25
th
March
23
rd
23
rd
23
rd
24
th
24
th
25
th
26
th
26
th
27
th
27
th
28
th
28
th
29
th
29
th
29
th
30
th
31
st
31
st
31
st
April
3
rd
3
rd
3
rd
5
th
5
th
5
th
7
th
13
th
May
2
nd
8
th
9
th
9
th
10
th
10
th
11
th
11
th
12
th
12
th
14
th
15
th
15
th
15
th
16
th
19
th
20
th
20
th
20
th
21
st
22
nd
23
rd
24
th
24
th
29
th
June
3
rd
7
th
8
th
9
th
10
th
10
th
26
th
27
th
27
th
July
7
th
19
th
20
th
24
th
29
th
September
1
st
2
nd
4
th
9
th
13
th
13
th
15
th
15
th
15
th
16
th
21
st
22
nd
October
20
th
26
th
30
th
November
3
rd
4
th
5
th
11
th
14
th
14
th
16
th
24
th
January
19
th
23
rd
24
th
27
th
29
th
February
1
st
3
rd
4
th
4
th
4
th
6
th
6
th
12
th
18
th
March
17
th
17
th
19
th
19
th
23
rd
24
th
26
th
April
6
th
8
th
9
th
15
th
17
th
20
th
May
1
st
2
nd
4
th
5
th
12
th
20
th
June
1
st
5
th
6
th
July
12
th
4 - why yes, I'll have two teaspoons of tea with my sugar. check that, scrap the tea, just give me sugar
14
th
5 - I miss my old problems, they were so easy to handle
15
th
6 - I'm not as stupid as you look
15
th
7 - if music be the food of love, then turn the bloody racket off
16
th
8 - there's no pain like home
17
th
9 - I'm not evil, I'm just stupid and greedy
18
th
10 - what goes up will stay up, unless it comes down
19
th
11 - just because you change the rules doesn't mean you'll win
19
th
12 - wow, a train of thought eh; I could fit all my thoughts into a mini
21
st
13 - all I ever wanted was everything, and everything else
22
nd
14 - why must we clean the sink after we do the dishes? have we not suffered enough?
23
rd
15 - when there's nothing to do, anything can be done. but sometimes somethings must be done, and at those times nothing gets done.
August
3
rd
16 - what doesn't kill me will only leave me severely hospitalized.
4
th
17 - there are so many right ways to do the right thing, I always pick the wrong one.
7
th
18 - are you still guilty if you feel no guilt?
15
th
15
th
18
th
19
th
21
st
28
th
28
th
September
4
th
9
th
14
th
17
th
rejection letter - I'm sorry to inform you that you didn't make our short-list. You would have made it, but we ran out of space on the paper.
23
rd
24
th
26
th
October
2
nd
4
th
6
th
7
th
13
th
16
th
19
th
hah - You'll be delighted to meet me, I know I was.
20
th
22
nd
23
rd
25
th
26
th
29
th
November
2
nd
4
th
8
th
9
th
16
th
18
th
25
th
27
th
December
6
th
9
th
29
th
31
st
January
11
th
18
th
February
1
st
3
rd
7
th
14
th
18
th
23
rd
March
3
rd
8
th
18
th
20
th
23
rd
April
14
th
23
rd
May
10
th
11
th
13
th
13
th
14
th
31
st
31
st
June
1
st
1
st
March
28
th
19 - how much wood would a woodchuck chuck for minimum wage?
April
2
nd
20 - there is no undo button in life, but there's definitely a redo button
7
th
21 - productivity - low, talkitivity - high
10
th
22 - the only people who search for your name on google, is you or someone with the same name
27
th
23 - I promise not to be involved in any scandals (that don't involve money)
June
9
th
9
th
9
th
9
th
thinking - I don't know what you're thinking and why you'd think otherwise.
11
th
12
th
14
th
18
th
July
3
rd
16
th
18
th
22
nd
September
1
st
5
th
6
th
18
th
30
th
October
6
th
November
20
th
July
20
th
24 - laziness is the key to avoiding bad habits
26
th
25 - when I say "Thank you for having listened to me", it doesn't necessarily mean I'm done talking
27
th
26 - you're not as clever as I thought, and three times more stupider than I had earlier predicted
28
th
27 - I'm sorry, I don't answer rhetorical questions
August
16
th
28 - there's two types of people here, those who're smart, and those who think they're smart. what do you think you are?
18
th
29 - my opinion is better than yours, and so are my facts
25
th
30 - you're getting to know me, you won't like me when you know me
26
th
31 - if I got a thousand dollars everytime someone said that to me, I would have three thousand five hundred dollars
28
th
32 - a picture is worth a mini-essay
September
4
th
33 - it's not the size of the dog in the fight or the size of the fight in the dog, it's the dog that lives to see another fight
5
th
34 - awfully incredible or incredibly awful?
6
th
35 - I'm not one to take a situation into my own hands, unless it falls into my lap
15
th
36 - I'm not a good morning person, at least not in the mornings
15
th
37 - what up's
18
th
38 - two steps ahead, but three floors below
18
th
39 - just give me a second, while I try to regain my passion for things
19
th
40 - I like working on something that works
21
st
41 - I'm such an ass, I need to shut up and listen
22
nd
42 - I need to think of nothing, nothing doesn't worry me like everything else
22
nd
43 - love, and be loved? or live, and let live?
26
th
44 - have the sprite commercials taught us nothing?
29
th
45 - if I had all the money in the world, I'd buy time
October
1
st
46 - if it's bad for me, I know it's bad for you
4
th
5
th
5
th
11
th
12
th
50 - I'll do it for as long as I no longer want to
14
th
15
th
53 - as they say, ugly people think alike
17
th
55 - you have the eyes of the beholder
18
th
25
th
57 - is that a cell phone ring or did someone just win a prize?
25
th
52 - a slow and painful death? or a slow and painful life?
November
1
st
8
th
58 - curiosity killed a cat, I killed four
20
th
December
3
rd
8
th
59 - keep your friends close, your enemies closer and your affairs closed
9
th
15
th
64 - can't put 2 and two together...
18
th
65 - good looks are for pretty people...
29
th
30
th
January
6
th
8
th
14
th
February
8
th
8
th
10
th
11
th
13
th
75 - there's nothing awkward about silence...
13
th
76 - just when you think it can't get any worse, it gets better...
13
th
15
th
18
th
79 - see, we're not having an intelligent conversation... you aren't holding up your end of intelligent...
18
th
80 - you strike me as a person...
20
th
81 - chocolate justifies the means, the ends, and everything else...
20
th
moments… - what is the difference between the moments you want to live to see, and the moments you would die for?
23
rd
24
th
25
th
26
th
27
th
27
th
28
th
March
3
rd
3
rd
91 - I feel sorry for you, I wasn't apologizing
8
th
92 - I can read you like a facebook
8
th
12
th
94 - if I had money to throw away, I'd keep it
20
th
95 - I can lie with a straight face or with my own face.
26
th
28
th
97 - my laptop gives me a false sense of mobility
30
th
98 - I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing with others who were laughing at you.
31
st
99 - We all need to get into a room, and miscommunicate.
April
3
rd
100 - your think-tank is dripping...
29
th
May
7
th
11
th
22
nd
this is too easy, there has to be a harder way - this is too easy, there has to be a harder way
22
nd
24
th
25
th
August
12
th
28
th
29
th
hurt - You'll just have to learn not to be hurt by the words I say
November
18
th
30
th
good luck, good looking - good luck comes to those who are good looking
December
28
th
28
th
28
th
29
th
29
th
30
th
30
th
January
1
st
1
st
1
st
1
st
1
st
2
nd
3
rd
5
th
5
th
speechless - I'm speechless, but I can still make funny faces or I'm at a loss for words, I'm going to find something to smack you with
8
th
8
th
no shame in losing - there's no shame in losing, the shame is in trying in the first place.
9
th
10
th
11
th
11
th
14
th
15
th
17
th
20
th
brevity - brevity /is/ the soul
22
nd
crisis - I'm continually in a mid-life crisis, because you never know when it will end.
23
rd
23
rd
23
rd
26
th
reason - you were chosen to do this for a reason! although it may have been a... bad reason.
27
th
February
2
nd
3
rd
4
th
4
th
4
th
suspense - the suspense is throwing salt on my wounds, but not killing me yet
5
th
late nights - late nights make mornings difficult
7
th
8
th
9
th
9
th
10
th
10
th
10
th
11
th
12
th
12
th
13
th
listen - and then, for a moment, I heard myself listening, and it gave me further pause.
14
th
14
th
14
th
15
th
15
th
15
th
at cost - I'm not selling myself short, I sell myself at cost.
19
th
20
th
21
st
22
nd
25
th
26
th
26
th
27
th
27
th
27
th
28
th
28
th
March
2
nd
2
nd
4
th
5
th
6
th
full stop - some sentences end long before the full stop, I hope you get to the end of this one.
9
th
9
th
11
th
12
th
13
th
14
th
14
th
14
th
16
th
16
th
16
th
17
th
19
th
21
st
22
nd
25
th
27
th
28
th
28
th
31
st
31
st
April
1
st
1
st
2
nd
9
th
10
th
10
th
15
th
in a circle - in a circle, all ends are connected
17
th
24
th
25
th
25
th
26
th
28
th
May
15
th
15
th
16
th
what could be - it's like i just left 'what could have been' and haven't gotten to 'what could be'. it's like i'm in purgatory.
21
st
28
th
June
1
st
2
nd
2
nd
4
th
4
th
5
th
7
th
8
th
8
th
cycle - that's a vicious cycle, we should just buy a car
8
th
9
th
11
th
13
th
13
th
15
th
17
th
17
th
19
th
don’t mention it - don't mention it? i was trying not to, but you keep bringing it up!
20
th
21
st
21
st
22
nd
23
rd
26
th
29
th
July
2
nd
2
nd
6
th
6
th
7
th
282 - questions and answers confuse me, multiple choice is abuse.
8
th
9
th
12
th
13
th
13
th
16
th
16
th
289 - repetition is annoying. i think i've already stated that.
16
th
17
th
17
th
18
th
19
th
19
th
19
th
20
th
27
th
28
th
28
th
28
th
31
st
August
1
st
argument - every time i get into an argument, i prove that an idiot is being argued with.
4
th
4
th
sink and dishes - if you always go for the kitchen sink, you’ll find yourself stuck doing dishes…
4
th
4
th
4
th
4
th
something sweet - and what of those who steal fruit? just to taste something sweet…
7
th
7
th
8
th
696 - when i grow up, i want to be younger.
8
th
699 - for all intensive purposes i spelled out my intents and purposes.
10
th
11
th
711 - you have questionable friends with questionable taste, which is probably why they're your friends.
11
th
13
th
717 - i'm not nearly as good or as important to feel insecure.
14
th
719 - beware of him! he speaks in tongues and writes in pens.
15
th
734 - for a while there i was under the impression that "lack thereof" was what my "sense of style and fashion" was called.
16
th
735 - welcoming you back is tiring, stop thanking me.
17
th
737 - i wish objects in that mirror were closer than they appear to be.
18
th
738 - make it cut-and-dry, more cut and less dry.
19
th
19
th
741 - i don't really follow advice, i just like listening to it.
20
th
742 - and before you know it, you will have climbed the mountain you were trying to move.
20
th
20
th
748 - what i like about it most is pointing out what i don't like about it most.
20
th
21
st
753 - i'm funny beyond compare, unless you compare me to someone who's just as funny as i am, or someone who's funnier.
21
st
755 - i like to start each day by waking up.
22
nd
22
nd
759 - it's always one o'clock around this time of the day.
22
nd
760 - i choose quality over quality, and quantity over quantity... but never one over the other.
23
rd
761 - two's company, three's a corporation.
23
rd
24
th
24
th
24
th
27
th
777 - it is surprising, if you are listening, with how much clarity it can be done.
27
th
778 - if i put my mind to it, there's nothing i could accomplish.
27
th
28
th
29
th
31
st
September
30
th
October
1
st
798 - i feel like my insult is being intelligenced.
2
nd
3
rd
4
th
896 - it's not that there are no wrong answers, there simply aren't any right ones.
4
th
4
th
5
th
5
th
904 - thank you for your input, you have confirmed what i had already known, that i do not value your opinion.
5
th
6
th
875 - lies become half-truths if you get enough people to say them.
9
th
10
th
11
th
932 - less is actually really less, but there are some who interpret it as being somewhat more than it actually really is. in short, less is more... more or less...
12
th
13
th
14
th
16
th
948 - i think i've been told i'm an awful listener.
17
th
954 - good jokes need no explanation, great jokes do (and so do horrible jokes).
19
th
21
st
23
rd
25
th
25
th
28
th
28
th
30
th
1003 - a photo essay is a really big giant photo, spanning multiple pages, double spaced.
31
st
November
1
st
1
st
5
th
6
th
1037 - the glass is fully empty.
14
th
15
th
1040 - the moment was full of awe, not to be confused with: an awful moment.
17
th
970 - I think night school is a brilliant concept, if you have nothing to do during the day.
17
th
18
th
19
th
20
th
1061 - revenge is a dish best served cold, cut into thin bland slices, with heated ketchup.
21
st
22
nd
24
th
1107 - if you had nothing, what would you need?
24
th
27
th
1113 - oh no, I have people skills. I just don't like using them.
28
th
29
th
30
th
December
2
nd
4
th
5
th
5
th
7
th
7
th
9
th
11
th
1128 - apparently I keep losing ironies.
11
th
12
th
14
th
1130 - "I don't even know the difference between an adjective and an adverb", I said, in a shy, unknowingly tone.
14
th
1221 - a metaphor is like a simile.
14
th
15
th
19
th
21
st
21
st
22
nd
22
nd
22
nd
22
nd
25
th
31
st
January
3
rd
3
rd
4
th
4
th
5
th
6
th
6
th
7
th
7
th
8
th
8
th
8
th
10
th
12
th
13
th
14
th
16
th
19
th
20
th
20
th
21
st
22
nd
22
nd
22
nd
29
th
February
2
nd
7
th
9
th
11
th
13
th
14
th
14
th
14
th
16
th
1534 - I have tried a lot of things and I find that I like wandering around and doing nothing better.
17
th
18
th
22
nd
March
1
st
1
st
1576 - I cannot tell the future, so I will let it tell me.
2
nd
2
nd
1589 - It can't not work because it does primarily nothing.
14
th
15
th
19
th
20
th
1608 - I value honesty over modesty and that is why, among other reasons, I am awesome.
23
rd
April
3
rd
6
th
1629 - life's life that.
7
th
11
th
19
th
21
st
27
th
May
4
th
6
th
6
th
8
th
1715 - Who farted and made you imam?
13
th
1717 - It's not about what you know, or even who you know. It's what you do that matters.
14
th
31
st
June
3
rd
1729 - What I don't like about translations, primarily, is that they're not in the original language.
4
th
1730 - Your reputation precedes you, and with any luck, you will depart before it does.
9
th
16
th
27
th
July
27
th
August
4
th
16
th
16
th
17
th
18
th
20
th
1817 - if you don't say anything, you never have to repeat yourself.
February
5
th
6
th
7
th
7
th
7
th
8
th
8
th
9
th
1876 - I don't need Valentine's Day to remind me how much I love chocolate.
9
th
10
th
10
th
10
th
11
th
11
th
11
th
11
th
11
th
11
th
11
th
12
th
12
th
1920 - I once made a decision, but then I undecided.
12
th
13
th
1885 - People have small imaginations, the world is pretty big.
13
th
1878 - Sometimes I will ask people how they are doing just to remind them how they are doing.
13
th
1870 - Well, I'll be damned! And so will you.
13
th
21
st
25
th
March
1
st
2
nd
3
rd
3
rd
5
th
1972 - Sometimes we're more aware of the unawareness of others than we are of our own.
6
th
1973 - False modesty is outright disingenuous. True humility is just plain boring.
6
th
1974 - First impressions matter more for some than they do for others. Sometimes it takes a try or two or twenty.
7
th
9
th
9
th
1993 - I think I will go watch a tree climb itself.
9
th
1994 - A lot of what you say sounds like something you would say.
10
th
11
th
12
th
12
th
13
th
13
th